Our Relationship with The Past
Me at the local Retro Arcade
There’s an annual Star Wars festival held each year on May 4th or “May the Force”, at a local town, and I decided that this year I would go and take my granddaughter and whoever else in my family wanted to tag along. I wasn’t that much older than my granddaughter when I saw the very first Star Wars movie with my Dad. I vividly remember the phenomenon in the 1970s. When it premiered it soared, and I recall so many breaktimes in my 4th grade classroom, watching my male peers play with all their Star Wars action figures, as I ate my Snack Pak vanilla pudding, when it came in a tabbed can, and not a plastic cup. I’ve seen every one of these films in the Star Wars world numerous times by now, and I introduced both my sons at an early age, hoping that they would also fall in love with the stories and characters ( I think they did 😄).
While at this annual event, my granddaughter wanted to redeem one of her “imperial credits” at the candy store’s retro arcade, so off we went. One of the first video games we came to was Space Invaders, alongside Frogger with Ms. Pac Man nearby, and I had to play. Back in the day on one Christmas morning, my sister and I were gifted with the first version of the Atari console, and we played LOTS of these cartridges-Space Invaders being a classic. She and I battled it out, seeing who could wipe out the most aliens without getting wiped out ourselves. Unbeknownst to me, my son took the photo you see here while I time-traveled back to my youth.
Thank you, Nostalgia.
The collective memories of our past hold the greatest power or “Force” over us, if we let them. Like in Star Wars, we find duality in the Force-both the Light and Dark sides, and if you’re like me, you have felt both sides at different times in your life, vying for control.
Our past recollections contain the gamut of emotions. There we find both happy and joyous memories, as well as painful or shameful images, thoughts, or feelings that we would just as soon eviscerate with a light saber. We hope that the old adage of “time heals all wounds” will be true for us, but recovery and healing can be a slow process that we’d rather skip.
The awakenings, lessons, and aha moments do come here on Earth School and although we feel gratitude when they do arrive, we’re also wishing that we knew then what we know now-”youth is wasted on the young” is another such saying that must have stemmed from this insight.
Several years ago, one of my friends and former coworkers commented that she wished that she could go back to her 20-something year old self and say, “Girl, you have no idea how hot you are.” I laughed as I shared that same sentiment, but I also felt deep empathy with a little sadness for myself in that shared instance. So much we fail to fully appreciate and understand about our younger selves.
We also hold onto the things that brought us warmth and emotional comfort in days of yore-we attach and don’t want to let go. Whether it be a teddy bear, diary, or high school mementos….
(Read my blog, “Constant Comforts” for more musings on our cravings for these old “friends”)
But we also hold onto the darker chapters of our lives. Those times that didn’t bring us joy and we’re haunted by ghosts of our shadow parts that often bring with them shame, guilt, grief, fear or anger.
The Dark Side of the Force
A side we have a very complicated relationship with. If we do want to let go, we struggle with how or simply don’t know how, or we don’t want to let go. There lies value of detachment to overcome fear and suffering in many instances-
“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
—Yoda
Much of what happens in therapy involves working through these complex issues that live in our past, if these issues are negatively impacting our present (and future).
“You must unlearn what you have learned.”
—Yoda
Where do we go to find peace and acceptance, even tranquility when the past becomes too alive or if we find ourselves on the darker side of things?
The NOW
The only place where we hold true power is in this sacred instant, the present, the NOW. There’s only HERE.
“Be present as the watcher of your mind. Identification with the mind gives it more energy; observation of the mind withdraws energy from it….
The present moment holds the key to liberation.
—Eckhart Tolle
Whenever you’re troubled or captured by the past….B R E A T H E….
Never forget-You have full agency of your thoughts and actions. Feelings are a bit trickier, but they can still be cared for and managed, such as what a parent does for a child, when the child needs to be heard, held, or given structure.
I really do believe that most of us are doing the best we can, given where we are-in regard to our conditioning, our beliefs, fears, hopes, and dreams.
We are the authors of our stories. And we’re both the hero and the villian.
Recognize the Dark for what it really is-the absence of Light. Transform it with this inner truth, so that you will appreciate it when it shows up, and it will. And by appreciation, I mean it is your moment of opportunity, a gift if you will, to take something with the potential of paining you further, into freedom, into love.
Our relationship with our past is a myriad of highs and lows, ups and downs. Allow for grace for yourself and others and continue to commit to the present to receive gratitude for how you got here. And for who you are, who you have become, and who you are becoming.
We’re all of it. A beautiful, messy, motley crew.
So might I suggest….the next time you hear “that song”-crank it up, or the next time an event rolls into your town that brings laughter or a smile in your heart…. GO!
And don’t forget to bring extra quarters for a game of Space Invaders👽!
Til next we meet in the forest…
Love,
Amanda ❤️
